Sea legs

I'm sitting on the couch, with the puppy dog, sucking on a life saver and listening to Beth Moore on Passion's live feed. She's talking about renewing of the mind, how it is deliberate but do-able, how it helps us discern the Lord's will, how it is linked with repentance.

Looking back on 2010, it was a hard year. Nick and I had hit after hit with family issues and bouts with homesickness and loneliness. They consumed our minds and thus our actions and our hearts. I felt that the Lord did guide us through the year, but we were still pushed around on the waves of life instead of being anchored to the Lord.

2010 reminds me of the story of Peter walking on water (Matthew 14:22-33). Peter sees Jesus walking on water through the winds and the waves. Peter jumped out of the boat and ran to Him and began walking on  the water to the Lord. When Peter sees the waves and the wind, he begins to sink and cries out, "Lord, save me!" Christ lifts him out of the water and brings him to the boat, safe but wet. The other disciples then begin praising the Lord, saying, "Truly, you are the Son of God."

In much the same way, I am Peter. I jumped out of the boat in 2010 but quickly began to sink when I took my attention away from the Lord and toward the wind and waves of life. I would begin to sink and the Lord was always there to catch me and save me, but I would always end up sinking, always end up wet. The Lord was with us, saving me every time, but I spent so much of 2010 whipped back and forth by emotions and circumstances rather than in the peace that surpasses all understanding.

So this is my new years resolution/goal... to walk on water with the Lord. I want to be more devoted to a personal relationship with Christ. Spending time reading the Bible and praying, not being swayed by the waves and winds of life. I want more than just the assurance that if I fail, the Lord will save me from drowning... I've had that since I became a Christian over 12 years ago. I want to get my sea legs. :)