White Christmas

It finally happened! We had a White Christmas in Georgia!
Nick and I left KY the day before Christmas Eve and headed straight to Georgia. We arrived at my parents house late and spent the whole next day with the fam. It was so good to see my family. Grandma was in from Houston, and I almost cried when I saw her. We hadn't been together since my wedding 2 years ago, and she looks great! :)

Nick and I feel that we have essentially missed the past 2 Christmases. Last year, I had wo work, so we both were apart from family and traditions. The year before we were in Jamaica on our honeymoon (sure it was a great trip, but nothing related to christmas occurred). So we were super psyched about Christmas this year.

We did it all. At my parents, we went to the candle lighting service at my home church (Nick even found seats in the full sanctuary for us), ate our ham sandwiches, and watched It's a Wonderful Life. Nick and I opened half of our presents that night. The next morning, after opening stockings, we headed to Athens for 2 days. We opened gifts, ate a huge dinner, and then WATCHED IT SNOW! The next day we attempted sledding (no go), had a snow ball fight, and built snow men followed by hot chocolate... mmm!

We are now back at my parents house where we are getting ready to eat (again :) and then just relax. I love my family!

So I hope you have a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

And let me leave you with a bit of my favorite Christmas carol, O Holy Night...

Long lay the world, in sin and ever pininig,
Til HE appearred, and the soul felt its worth....

Truly HE taught us to love one another,
HIS law is love, and HIS gospel is peace.
Chains shall HE break, for the slave is now our brother,
And in HIS name, all oppression shall cease!

Some times I feel like my soul is still pining for HIS grace, and there are moments where my soul suddenly feels its worth. This line calls to me, or rather calls to the Lord from my own heart. Christ is the Lord, and brings meaning and truth to all who believe. Merry Christmas!

2 years...

Nick and I celebrated our 2 years of marriage yesterday. We went to the Lexington Ballet's Nutcracker (OK but not as good as Atlanta's) and then to the Melting Pot (which I know is too expensive, but worth the yummy food and the 2 hours we spent talking) where Nick surprised me with a second wedding band! So beautiful!

While we were waiting for our food to cook, we reflected on the past year... both good and bad, and how the Lord's hand was in it all.

We spoke about Nick's Grandpa Schneider and the pain he has brought.
His Grandpa Wilbur and the pain his loss brought.
Nick loosing his job at Best Buy and how tight our pockets got.
About how we miss Georgia.

We spoke about how the Lord is using the Grandpa Schneider thing to teach us to trust him.
His Grandpa Wilbur and how to praise the Lord through grief and death.
About Nick getting the job at the hospital and how the Lord has now provided him greater flexibility with his schedule and health insurance (pretty awesome health insurance actually).
About how we miss Georgia and are trusting the Lord would bring us closer.

About how awesome our puppy Yoda is.
About how He provided a new house for us.
How He is providing for our future as I am in school for my Nurse Practitioner degree.
And how He loves us as shown by our own deepening love.

We are so excited about the new year, the next year together... We love that the Lord will provide for us and keep us with Him.

Haul out the Holly!

So what they don't tell you in nursing school is that "sleeping in" becomes "sleeping-til-630" boo. So here I am to blog.

Thanksgiving was a success... Nick had to work, but I perfectly timed it so that the turkey came out of the oven right when he was walking in. I was SO proud of myself. It was moist with a golden-brown skin. The table was beautiful, and Nick enjoyed the food so much! It was hard being away from family, but I skyped in on my parent's thanksgiving feast! I just keep reminding myself that this is just for a season... which brings me to another season... CHRISTMAS! (Imagine that last word in Cathy's excited voice  :) )

Christmas officially began the next day for us. It was the weirdest thing for us. Thanksgiving was nice and warm, I even wore a sleeveless shirt! Then we wake up the next morning... and there was SNOW! Needless to say, Yoda LOVED it... It was the first appearance of Snow Beard (what we call Yoda after he's sniffing around in the snow) from the Blistery White North! (OK so maybe we are a little bit obsessed with our puppy, but he's soooo darn cute!)

Later that morning (so we wouldn't get caught in a huge Black Friday rush), we went out to Wal-Mart and Lowes to find a tree. You know Nick was in a great mood because he got a tree that was not the least expensive ;) After hauling it home in the back of his truck, we pulled out the boxes, and just allowed Christmas to explode all over our house. It was soooo exciting! When I find the camera, I'll take some pictures and put them up. After all, this is the first Christmas in our new house!

After a day of Christmas music and decorations, Nick and I had a second helping of my wonderful turkey, turned off the lights except for the Christmas tree, and watched Elf... There's no better way to kick off the season than watching a grown man in tights yell "SANTA! I KNOW HIM!"

The season even continued into work. So don't tell the kiddies, but Santa is currently intubated in our ICU. He'll be OK, but he was in a motorcycle accident while wearing his santa suit... no lie! And then another patient had a visitor... another Santa! It was crazy but I LOVE IT!

But with all of this excitement, we need to remember the ONE who made this all possible, and when I say all I mean everything. The Bible tells us that Jesus was with the Lord when He created the world (John 1:1 - In the Beginning there was the Word. And the Word was with the Lord, and the Word was the Lord.)

Nick always jokes about my birthday-month, but this is Jesus's Birthday Month (maybe not technically but figuratively). Every light heart and good will toward men stemmed from His heart toward us. Christmas is magical because the lights on the Christmas tree remind me of the star the wise men followed. Because the nativity in my living room reminds me of the night the Lord GOD on High came to us in the form of an infant boy. The carol O Holy Night causes me to cry when the verse says "Long lay the world, in sin and error pining, until he appeared, and the soul felt its worth!" The fact that I still lay in sin and error but that His birth brought meaning to me. So let's haul out the holly because we need a little Christmas... rather A LOT of CHRISTmas... right this very minute.

Would you ask this question?

So I know there's a lot of heavy stuff out there, but this is something that I have been convicted of this past weekend and need prayer for wisdom and courage.

As you know, I work in the Neurosurgery ICU at University of Kentucky. Being a Level One trauma center, we get the sickest of the sick, and many do not make it.

I had a patient last week, not much older than myself. His father was a pastor (like mine) but my patient, we'll call him Bob, may or may not have been a Christian. Anyway, he was in liver failure due to past drug and alcohol abuse. His dad told me that he was trying to straighten himself out, stopping the drugs, but had kept on drinking. Bob was in bad shape.

His dad just kept telling me that he wanted Bob to wake up one last time so that he could ask if Bob had accepted Christ. His family could let him go after that.

Bob did not wake up. After a grueling 12 hour shift of trying in vain to maintain a decent blood pressure and oxygen saturation while juggling continuous dialysis, vent changes, and multiple vasoacitve drips, I passed off my patient to the oncoming nurse. An hour after I got home, Bob coded and died.

Bob's dad never got his question answered. And so here is my question: Is there someone you love who if they were at the brink of death, you would have to ask, "Can he please wake up so I can ask if he's accepted Christ?" Would you ask that question?

I know I would. And so, friends, pray for me. Pray that I have the wisdom and courage to ask that question before it gets too late. That the Lord leads me to the proper place and time, that He prepares the soil of my loved one's heart to hear the Gospel.

And pray for you too, that we will never have someone wonder that about us. That we live daily in a way so that there will be no questioning, no pleading to God for one last chance to share the Gospel. And that we take on every moment like it's the last.

does laundry ever end?

The title speaks for itself. Does laundry ever end? I submit no!

Just unpacking boxes, doing laundry, working, doing laundry, going to school, and doing more laundry. Geeze. It's just the two of us! Thankfully Yoda is always naked. :)

It's been fun getting into our own home. This is the most space we've ever had, and we're so glad to have just a couple of weeks of no travel. It's been busy and crazy, but it feels so good to come home. I'll put up some pictures when we're done with moving in all the stuff!

Now on to folding!

Going to the chapel, and Brooks is gonna get married...

So finally a week of vacation... but is it really vacation when you don't sleep in the same bed for more than 2 nights? The jury is still out, but I'm having a great time!

My vacation started last Wed, when I went to the ENT, found out that I wouldn't have to have surgery on my busted eardrum, closed on the house, and headed to Marietta with Rachel. Over the next 2 days, we went to the Atlanta aquarium, Braves game, Athens, and Mall of Georgia. I dropped her off at the airport early on Saturday and went straight to bridesmaidy things. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! Brooks, one of my best friends from college, is getting married this  Saturday! We had a wonderful luncheon, a stressful dress fitting, and a fabulous bachelorette! I was so excited to catch up with old friends whom I haven't seen in over a year!

The next day, I went bridesmaid dress shopping for my best friend Rachel's wedding next spring. Again, it was a time of reunion for me and my roommates and Rachel's sweet mom. I spent the night at Rachel's, and it felt like our life in the dorm room all over. It was such a blessing.

On Monday, Nick flew in and we had dinner with Leslie and McCall. McCall is getting married in just a couple of weeks, and I'm so excited to be able to attend. We spent the night at my folks, and headed over to Athens to spend time with Nick's family. Where I am right now. But my vacation of friends is not over yet! Tonight is Wilder fam night with Sarah Brown, Fri is rehearsal dinner and sleep over with my nursing friend Taylor, and Saturday is BROOK'S WEDDING!

It has been wonderful seeing all of my old friends this past week. I feel so blessed that the Lord has allowed these relationships to continue despite distance and time. And I notice a common theme in these friendships, Jesus. The Lord brought us together as children, teens, and college students, and the bond remains strong. I pray for my relationships with these women and I continue to pray that the Lord blesses the new friendships I am developing in Him.

So, off I go!

Go Time!

    So "the cloud" as some of our friends refer to it, has begun to lift (knock on wood) and good things are coming our way. As of now, everyone is healthy and happy. Nick and I are still seeing the Lord's hand work in our lives just as much as we did when "the cloud" settled itself over our little family. And it's exciting all that is going on, but it's all happing so quickly. Nick and I refer to this next month and a half as GO TIME!

    We are in the process of closing on a house (a foreclosure in very good shape that we're getting a GREAT deal on), moving out of our apartment, starting the fall semester of school for both of us, Nick starting his job, and a nice long trip to Georgia for Brooks' wedding! YAY! I know I'll be exhausted, but I also know that it will feel sooooooo good when, at the end of October I will be able to sit on my back patio or my own backyard with my hubby and my puppy and enjoy the beginning of fall (my favorite season) and birthday month!


    Fall is also another time of great change for loved ones in our lives. My youngest sister, Callie, is going to college. She'll be a UGA Bulldog through and through. While she is nervous about the change, I know she'll do great.



    Other friends are starting new jobs, leaving old jobs for newer ones, and starting families. Fall is wonderful. Though the days are growing shorter, the crisp air I felt in the morning today called to me. I felt brisk and light, ready to get out of the sweltering heat and pressure of this past summer. The Lord has a lot planned for us, for you. He always has, and always will. Cloud or no cloud. :)


    We'd love your prayers in this time of change. That we won't pull out our hair as we fit so much into so little time. That we will be able to be thankful for these opportunities. That we will never cease to praise the Lord!


Here are pictures of the new house!

Front :)

Living Room

Kitchen... and Nick's parents

Kitchen again... our walls are the PERFECT color :)

Master Bedroom

Full Master bath and walk in closet!

Come stay anytime you'd like! Just after September, OK? ;)

Sleepy...

So I think only other nurses can understand this... I'm always so exhausted after 3 12 hour shifts in a row. And I'm excited because I'll get to take a NAP this afternoon! I love naps... especially on days like today... gray and rainy with the puppy dog at my feet. It's a nice little escape. And I need escape.

I think all people in my stage of life, a year out of college and trying to make a new life. The excitement and thrill of new husband, new place, new job has begun to wear off. And while I'm still excited about some of those things, like Nick for instance, others have become dull. I sit here wondering if we'll ever buy a house. Will I ever stop working weekends? Will I ever feel like a good nurse? I don't know.

Work has been especially hard the past weekend. Being at a Level One trauma center, we see the sickest of the sick. Yesterday was a culmination of emotion. A dad sat at his son's bedside after a car wreck, a year after his wife passed from the same injuries. Two self-inflicted gunshot wounds to the head. And one 93 year old lady who passed while her 94 year old husband held her hand... I just don't know if I can do it... The Lord has to continue to give me strength, and I'm exhausted... Keep me in your prayers.

But now, Nick and I have 2 days off together and my parents are coming up this weekend with my sister, Cathy. I'm soooooo looking forward to having a break from it all!

And so now, I must retreat to my first little indulgence... nap time.... *sigh*

The Lord Provides

So on the Grandparent front... Grandma Judy is not doing well... She's been in and out of the hospital twice in the past month. First with a heart attack and then with heart failure. She has decided to move in with Nick's parents in Athens. Keep them in your prayers as her health continues to fade and they look for help with 24 hour care.

During all of this, we have seen the Lord work in our lives. As fall semester approaches and with no job for Nick, paying for school has been a main concern. As we prayed, and as I tried not to let worry overcome me (which is hard to do for me), the Lord provided, like He always does. Nick got a scholarship from church and from Southern. Combined, all of fall semester and most of his spring semester has been paid for. On top of that, I found out that UK will pay for all of my fall semester as well. And on top of it all, Nick had an interview at the hospital to be a clerk (not a dream job, but hey, great benefits and similar schedules)! The Lord has also provided me with a Bible study with other nurses and seminary student wives. This has been great since I've been working so many Sundays. The Lord has provided. He is constantly doing a new thing in our lives.

It reminds me of the story in Joshua 3-4. Joshua was leading the people of Israel finally into the Promised Land. The only thing that stood in the way was the flooding Jordan River. Stepping out on faith with the Ark of the Covenant, they priests stepped into the Jordan River, which dried up, allowing for safe passage. While Israel crossed, the Lord told Joshua that a man from each tribe should take up a rock from the dried river bed. Joshua then built an altar to the Lord with those stones, saying that these stones " serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' 7 tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever."

These actions, these providences, are like the rocks from the river bed as the Lord leads us over the impossible into the Promise Land. These "rocks" will serve as reminders to us of what the Lord has done when we are faced with other challenges. They will also serve as markers to our future children of what the Lord has done. That He is real. That He works in our lives for the better. Let us cling to that truth.

What else?

So Nick and I got back to Lexington around midnight on Thursday, the day of Grandpa WIlbur's funeral. After we picked up the puppy from some very helpful friends (thanks Josh and Laura!), we passed out. I went to class the next day for a test and went to have lunch with Nick. We had coupons for the new spicy chicken sandwiches... yum! At lunch Nick told me that Best Buy said that they are cutting back the part time people's hours... aka, you won't have anymore hours... aka no more job. :( After a crazy weekend at work (admitting and caring for an organ donor and all that entails) punctuated with overnight stays from Nick's family on their way back down from the Great White North, I'm exhausted.

So we're praying... for Nick to find a job, for money for his school, for his car not to break down... where praying that there is no more what else? We know the Lord has us in His hand, and there is nothing else I can do but trust Him. He knows how we are going to be provided for... So instead, we are asking where else... Where else will He show us His face? What job will present itself to Nick soon? Where will his car be fixed? Where can I stop being nervous? The Lord will provide...Jehove Jireh... And so prayers are being welcomed and embraced.

Mourning

Our camping trip to Mammoth Caves was cut short. We knew that Grandpa Wilbur had been struck by a car and was in critical condition (this just weeks after Grandma Judy had a bowel resection for colon cancer), but he continued to decline. So Nick and I and all of the family packed up our things and drove the 7 hour drive to Michigan. When we arrived at 10 pm to the hospital was when I wished I was not an ICU nurse. I knew too much. He was on the ventilator, paralyzed, and sedated. On levo and maxed on vaso to maintain his blood pressure. A CRRT machine was acting as his kidneys. And he kept jumping from a sinus to a junctional rhythm as his cardiac enzymes just continued to climb higher. In other words, he was sick, and I knew just how sick and how he was not going to make it. So we went to a hotel and slept.

The next day, Grandma Judy and Nick's parents were there at the same time. And we decided to make him a DNR, do not resuscitate. Grandma Judy was not ready yet to let go. And so we sat, and we waited, as he got sicker. The next morning, Grandma Judy came in, and we had a talk. She asked a lot of questions and I answered them. And as I guided her to making the decision to withdraw care, I couldn't help but hate myself just a little. In my job, I have this conversation a lot, and I am good at having it, maybe too good. But it is different addressing this issue with a stranger and with your grandma. She said that she could not bear the decision to be made by her, but rather she wanted us to take that burden. And so, as a family, we decided to withdraw care, to turn everything off and begin a morphine drip. He passed quickly and quietly yesterday morning, and we are spending today and tomorrow planning the funeral. But my heart continues to be heavy for her. Keep Judy in your prayers.

And so a poem I wrote for Grandpa Wilbur:

Alas, My Only Love
A Poem in Remembrance
Of Richard Wilbur

An old hymn fills the room,
The words bring despair.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
More than I can bear.

A calm fills the room,
As into Heaven you peer.
This imperfect world you leave behind,
As angels draw you near.

Make haste, my Only love,
Do not tarry here.
Where pain has overcome you,
And all you know is fear.

Alas, my Only love,
As dying fills the air,
Abundant life awaits you,
And the Lord to take you there.

So It Begins...

So I'm sitting at work next to the telemetry monitors and looking over my syllabi (syllabuses... syllabi?) for my summer classes yesterday. I have my little goolge calendar pulled up and putting in all my assignments, when I look up and comment to Morganne (another nurse), "What am I doing to myself?!" A question that still echos in my mind even now as I sit on my couches, watching Sting sing Roxanne on the Today show and avoiding my homework.

What. Am. I. Doing?! I mean I just got done with school a year ago, and now I'm going back full time while working full time. Surely this constitutes as self-mutilation. Don't get me wrong, I want to be a nurse practitioner, like real bad; however, this mountain of work ahead of me is very daunting. And I know I'll get through it, I always do. I mean it's only 2 years... I could be going for 6 for my doctorate. But I still feel like Miley Cyrus at the beginning of her hit song, "The Climb" (And yes I know I have an unhealthy relationship with Miley). "I can almost see it, that dream I'm dreamin'. But there's a voice inside my head sayin, You'll never reach it." Ahh the sweet sounds of inspiration echoing in my living room as I type.

And so my mantra begins... 9-5 and no holidays.... 9-5 and no holidays. Say it with me, 9-5 and no holidays! 9-5 AND NO HOLIDAYS!

I am empowered, on to face my homework!

Whoa... day off!

I still feel like life is going by at a million miles a minute. Last week I worked 3 12 hr shifts in a row ( which any nurse knows is exhausting) and had a busy but good couple of days off. Nick's brother Mike was up for the weekend. His father joined us for dinner at the beginning of my stint off and his mother and sister, Lisa, joined us for a day at the end. We had a great time! We saw Iron Man 2, went bowling, and went to a Lexington Legends minor league baseball game with our Sunday School class. I also had a class for work to go to and orientation for school.

As I sat through orientation, I found it ironic that my sister, Cathy, was graduating from college. Only last year I was the one walking across the stage, happy to start working and be done with homework (a feeling I'm sure Cathy is feeling right now), and now I am back. I'm a little nervous about balancing school full time and work full time, but I believe I am here for a reason and the Lord will help me through some how. This time in 2 years, I'll be graduating from Eastern Kentucky University ready to take my boards and become a Family Nurse Practitioner... YAY! But looking at the climb ahead can be daunting. I'll just take it one step at a time, asking for prayers along the way :)

In other news, Nick is 1/3 of the way done with seminary! We should be graduating at the same time. He's taking 1 summer class this season, but things should be pretty even sailing for him. He makes me so proud, providing for his school and mine so that we don't have to take out any loans (UK also helps out by paying for 6 hrs/semester). He makes me happy, and I'm looking forward to this Saturday when both of us are off and we can have budget and relax day.... mmm naps.

Cleaning

Does cleaning ever stop? I was off the past few days, and so the kitchen, living room, bedroom, and car have all received a good scrub down... Tomorrow it's the bathrooms. yay. (Can you feel the lack of joy?).

Other than cleaning, it's been a nice week. We finally got our new couches! YAY! (Now there is a lot of oomph in that!). So we bid farewell to the ugly, ratty hunter green couches and hello to our "townhouse tawny" sofa and love seat which actually has support. It was actually the couches that has inspired me to deep clean. I just wanted our house to look as spiffy as our new couches! And after some spritzing of febreeze, I am finally sitting down with Yoda at my feet and relaxing. Nick should be home soon for date night. Since I'm working all weekend (blah), we're having a mid-week date. We're going Outback tonight with our gift card from the Easter Bunny (aka my parents). :) We're celebrating me getting into my Nurse Practitioner program and Nick finishing this last semester of class! I can hardly believe he's 1/3 of the way done with seminary! Just 2 more years!

I've been blessed to have spent some time with some new friends and some old ones this past week. It reminds me of the girl scouts song we used to sing, "Make new friends, but keep the old..." I had lunch today with one friend, Joanie Beth, at chick-fil-a ... yum-yum, and yesterday spent some time with my co-worker/friend Rachel. I also got to talk with some other Rachel's in my life. My old roommate Rachel N. and I caught up on the phone while Rachel E. and I skyped. She's a missionary in Mexico right now. I feel the Lord has blessed my relationships both old and new.

Now it's back to relaxing... I feel a nap coming on... and no, Rachel N., it is not affecting my life, so you cannot call it hypersomnia :)

Good Day!

I got in!

So very excited! I just found out that I got into Eastern Kentucky University's Rural Nurse Practioner Program! It will be a 2 year program which means Nick and I will graduate at the same time. I will have my Masters in Nursing and will then take a test before becoming an ARNP (advance registered nurse practitioner)! And the best thing of it all... my current job at the University of Kentucky will pay for it all! The Lord has blessed us so much with this! I can practice wherever when I'm done... doctor's office 9-5 with no holidays... sign me up! Of course, the pay will be better, and I could even teach nursing. Whew! I'm so excited!

Home again, home again

It's weird, thinking that I'm "home" when I'm in Kentucky. It is where my stuff resides, where my job is, but it still doesn't feel like home. Nick and I had a great week in what we still call home. In Georgia, we visited family and stopped into see many friends. We were updated on life... Rachel's school and McCall's engagement. We met some new people like Sarah's boyfriend. ANd wished we lived closer to Taylor and Brooks. Hmmm... why are we in Kentucky again? Oh right, we were called here. The Lord will provide for us... friends, relationships, school, jobs, etc. I trust in Him, and while it may not be easy, I would rather be in His path than the easy one.

And I must go. I'm catching up on the Life series, and there is a goat in a tree...

Sittin'

Sittin' at my parents' house in Marietta, in the chair my dad has named "the cloud." Sooo soft. Eatin' Easter candy. Nick and I are just sittin' after a week full of family and good friends. Sittin' and listenin' to Callie's stories of her recent mission trip to Lima, Peru. God is so good to be using all of my family for His glory. *Sigh* Life is good today. :)

Georgia on my mind...

We are back! Back in Georgia that is. Nick and I are looking forward to a long relaxing week with our families. Today with his and 2 of the cutest kids ever named Cody and Alison. And the weekend with my family.

There's nothing like family to soothe the aching heart. I love home. :)

Here We Go Again

Let's try this again, shall we?

I'm at home now, waiting for Nick to get off work. I have already put in a full week's worth at the hospital "saving lives and stamping out disease" as my fellow nurses say. I'm still adjusting to being a nurse... 9 months into it. Thankfully, I'm back on day shift, so when I'm at home I'm not a zombie. But it's still hard... physically, mentally, and spiritually. I didn't know that this job would require so much of me. But the Lord keeps filling me up to overflow to those in need. It's a blessing but exhausting. I'm looking forward to our trip down to Georgia where I refuse to take care of any sick people! Stuffy noses... out of my sight!

It was a rough week... a lot of extended family issues, but the Lord has a plan and I know it involves bringing Nick and I even closer to each other and to Him. And to make us even more grateful for His grace and forgiveness. A thought we should be reminded of more often than just Good Friday.

Our plan for this Good Friday? Other than being thankful for the sacrifice of Christ on the cross for our sins? We're going to Keeneland, to see beautiful horses race. No betting, I promise! It's just so much fun just to see such majestic creatures... they are SO BIG!